I'M LOST!!

Why are boys so difficult?!?!

text from RT night before last:
"Guess we're not buddies anymore"
Me:
"Why? Did I do something?"


about an hour later I get a phone call...
RT:
" Hey you haven't called in a few days"
Me:
"Well you have a phone too"
RT:
"Well I knew I had been calling you a lot lately so I was waiting for you to call me"
Me:
" What? Why? that's just gay!! Now I know I told you when we started talking again I was going to give you plenty of space since you said you were trying to stay focused on school, Plus my sister and niece are in town so I've been a little busy."
RT:
"Oh yeah, well no biggie I was just joking with you. I never thought we weren't buddies anymore."

***This is as close to WORD TO WORD as its going to get

Ok well he has called me twice since then!!!

Now A Question for all you boys!!! WHY ARE YOU SO DIFFICULT!?!?!?!
What does this mean? Is he just trying to see where I stand? Is he disappointed I haven't been calling him like he has been calling me? Should I call him more? WHAT DOES THIS MEAN!?!?!
I'M LOST! :-(

The Crazy Radio Caller....

Yes, that's me, at least lately it is since I've been spending so much time in my car for work. Well a few weeks back I heard a song on the internet called Bleeding Love by Leona Lewis, a young girl from Britain who Simon Cowell named the winner of their X-Factor show. (More info @ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leona_Lewis ) Well I called the radio station to see if it was released to play in the US yet and one of the young interns told me YES, but no one really requests it! He told me if I wanted to hear it I would need to request it during On Demand @ 12-1! I was so excited so I called later on that day during the allotted time and Mat the main DJ picked up. When I requested the song he said "GREAT SONG!" I was like "HELLO I KNOW!" Well we chatted for a few and he said he would definitely remember me when he plays the song. I was like "GREAT!" Well sitting at work with the radio right beside me I never heard the song so I tried again a few days later. Mat answered again!! "Hey, is this Allie he asked"...yesssss.... He said "a girl named Allie won our contest yesterday and I asked her if she was the Allie that requested Leona and she replied No with a snotty attitude! HAHA!" "Nope, not me but maybe next time!!! So when you gonna play my song." He just said "Well we need to get more requests for the song and not just from you or the interns." :-(

Well now when I call and get through Mat just laughs at me and says ok....even Freddy another one of the DJ's knows me now and he just tells me I gotta talk to MAT b/c he is the only one that can approve new songs!

Well today...to my enjoyment at 12:50pm he played it!!! And you better believe I had the radio turned up while singing every word!!!

So EVERYONE if you live in or around Houston call the radio and request it! Because that's the only way they will play Leona!! Oh and her other song Better in Time is A-MAZING TOO!! Butt Baby steps for now...just vote or request!!

If you can't tell, I really do think she WILL(in time) become the next Whitney or Maria! A little more time and vocal training and those high notes she hits so well will SOAR!

***Oh and if you are bored you need to youtube Nick Pitera. Watch the A Whole New World video first to check out his talent (give him a minute or 2 to show you what it is). Then go watch him sing Leona's song Bleeding Love! he is incredible even though you might laugh at first!

My Brain <-- My Worst Enemy

Its 9:48pm and I find myself alone for the 2nd night in a row with hours of free time to just think. Think about what? What is going on in my head these days that could possible be so important to focus hours of free contemplation time on? Well my sister is in town so every few minutes a thought of her and my niece run threw my head. Then there is T, my closest friend, who has had recent boy trouble lately but now seems to have settled down a bit with a new one - which is mainly why I am stacking up on the free time. Or.... could I spend my night thinking of myself, my sorrows, and my boy troubles BUT why not shoot for the positive and think about progress at work and my killer good looks? HA! Yes, this is a tough question but I always seem to find myself on the short end thinking only of the negative......why, oh loyal brain must you bring me down!!!

Its night two and the boy hasn't called since Sunday night. Yes, RT....and for no reason known to me. Our last talk ended well with a goodnight before bedtime. O'well, it could be worse, I could be back in the boat I was in a year and half ago. Or I could be in the middle of a strange country with a guy I barely know having the worst time of my life! Oh good lord help me!

This mostly positive, crazy energetic, southern spunk of a girl sometimes hits a low key.....and yes, I'm sad to say(or type), this is it. Don't worry though, I'm sure I'll be back on my game bright and early at 6am!

G'night all.

Chapter 2 out of The Book of Allie's Woes

OK Jamie (Oh! How Lovely) inspired this post with her recent troubles.

Just another lovely story out of The Book of Allie's Woes....

In January of '07 about a week after the X and I split my mom calls to check up on me. Well somewhere in the middle of our convo she reveals to me that she is thinking of divorcing my dad....WHAA?!?! Where did this come from? "Allie, its been brewing for some time" Well she went on to tell me she just didn't think it was right anymore and she wanted to take a trip to Tenn. to visit our horses, get away and think about things. Problem - our horse trainer, who is newly divorced, lives in Tenn.. Well my mom was quick to state they are just friends which I have ALWAYS believed to be true...but if I didn't trust my mom at this point I would think it was fishy. Plus I knew him very well and he was a cool guy.
OK back to my mom.....WHILE my life is in a million pieces all over my apartment floor my mom decided this very moment was the RIGHT time to tell me this?!?!? NOT COOL MOM!!! SO... DEVASTATED I WAS AGAIN!
Well of course I talked to my dad and he was lost and didn't understand. I know he was NOT happy that she was going to Tenn. alone too. Well nothing came of the trip but when she came back she was still gung-ho about the divorce. My dad would call me with any new information he had or when he was just sad. I got so many calls I could barely keep up and my mom was turning into a stranger I'd never met. First weird change in my mother...she got her belly button pierced. 2nd...she got long blonde hair extensions. 3rd... she bought a little black bmw sports car. Just SCREAMS MID-LIFE CRISIS if you ask me.

Well she ended up moving out and in with my Grandfather for about 6 months. Now he lives about 15 min from me. Sadly I wasn't even interested in seeing her so we never really met up while she lived there.

I'm not sure when the transition happened but I think somewhere down the road my mom realize she was going to LOOSE everything if she didn't stop her wild and free ways....so her and my dad started "dating" again.

Well I'm currently happy to report she moved back in a couple months ago and they are doing great....just in time for the bad new my dad received. I'm just glad she is there for him.

But let me tell you, this SUCKS for anyone on the outside looking in. I just wanted to SHAKE my mom and tell her to WAKE UP! WHO ARE YOU!
Its like something just got into her and she wanted to be young and free again as if she never had the ability to do it before. <-- which in a way she didn't b/c she had my sister and I both before she was 22. I couldn't imagine having to toddlers running around me right now...YICKS!

So my conclusion...Do not marry young even if you think you are ready! You haven't had enough FREE time to find yourself and enjoy the SINGLE life....
You are silly if you think this is not true and you will only find out.....hmmmm around the age of 44?!?!?! haha!

I hate to think this happens everyday and most of the couples do not get back together. Its just heartbreaking the rate of divorce these days....so sad.

just plain CUTE!

Meet Maddie, My niece. She's not quite 2y/o but has the biggest personality!

If you can't tell... She is in a kissing phase right now.

This is her on Saturday kissing my mom's dog through the fence.

boys boys boys....

ok so one of the "gmail" boys (reference previous post) sent me a "chat" while I was idle yesterday...


Cv: i know you are busy and i have a doctors appointment coming up today but later .. give me a call .. we need to talk

I'm sorry but doesn't this SCREAM "break up" of something to you....as if we were dating at all??? ok So I get back online b/c I'm super curious....

me: so I'm not busy now
whats up?
Cv: ok ... so I was thinking
you didn't have your spring break yet, right?
me: no but I don't really get one
Cv: but you could take a day off like ... let's say .. Friday or so? .. anyway .. i know you are busy with Em(my sis) and your niece and Easter is coming up .. but sometime after that ... it would be nice if we could do something .. no strings, no pressure .. just plain fun
me: ok, I could probably do that
me: I'm not sure what you are thinking
so how about you throw your ideas my way
and I say "Cool" or "Yuck"
Cv: ok .. so i saw you expressed some interest in NYC and San Fran .. those are one option ... the other is Cancun ... throwing you out of the plane .. I can do that any day :).
me: haha, ok, just us or is this a group venture?
Cv: well unfortunately .. most of my friends are on spring break as we speak
me: oh soo...what would the plan be when we get there
either NYC, San Fran, or Cancun
Cv: NYC .. there is a ton of things to do ... city never sleeps .. sightseeing, eat, drink .. etc .. same with san fran .. Cancun .. i am thinking relax on the beach and .. i have never been snorkeling .. i wanna try that


OK So this is kind of awkward for me....I've gone out with this guy a few times but we've never even kissed. He just seems more like a good friend to me now. Based on the way he asked and the comments he made...what do you think? Of course I want to go, It would be super fun! BUT...would it be bad too? Would he think more of "us" than I want. Because as of right now he KNOWS I do not want a relationship. Actually I'm kinda at a lose as to why he wants me to go....He is cool and we have fun hanging out but why would he want to pay for just a (girl) friend to go to Cancun with him? Well actually he has tones of flyer miles due to work travel and he makes pretty good money...so I guess the money isn't an issue.
** background FYI: He is 30, polish, and hasn't seriously dated in 5 yrs b/c of his work travel. He's been back and forth between NYC, San Fran, Malon Italy, and Houston.

So with all that said....opinions are needed!!


oh and RT is coming in town tonight but I don't think we are meeting up til tomorrow night.
:: small smile ::


OH BOYS BOYS BOYS...what have I gotten myself into!

lack of dating...

I've had a major gap in my dating life lately....main cause.....simply me. I'm just not interested. Right after the big break with the bf(post1) about a year and half ago I started getting real close to a guy I grew up with, RT. He was and still is my best friend but we got a little hot and heavy for a few months. To my disappointment, it starting going cold due to work and scheduling. He lived in our hometown and I was living in the big city...hour and a half drive. Well soon thereafter he got a job in the big city close to me so naturally he started staying with me a few nights out of the week. Our relationship was starting to look like a relationship... up til he revealed he was accepted back into college and he was leaving in a month to finish(3hours away). Now, we hadn't made it to the "OMG I can't live without you" stage so I was happy for him. Us being such close friends, I could be nothing less than supportive, it was definitely the right move for him. Well we talked everyday for about 2-3 weeks til the inevitable fight. It was his birthday and I had been planning on going down to see him for weeks. Well I got a brief phone call telling me I don't have to come b/c he has homework and a test to study for so he can't entertain me all weekend BUT I can still come IF I WANT. "Well do you want to see me?", I asked.... YOU READY FOR THIS....being part of the guy clan he simply replied, "I don't care." At this point my eyes about popped out of my head and I quickly ended the conversation. We didn't speak for, wow, almost a month. He's been gone for 3-4 months now and somewhere in there our daily texts turned into calls and it hasn't stopped. RT has even cracked jokes about meeting our daily call time quota. What strikes me is that he is the one calling me everyday, be it at work or on my drive home. I still haven't seen him since he left but he recently invited me to come down and go to the river with him when it warms up....oh and he might be in town this weekend, and if so, he wants to meet up.
Now, he knows I haven't dated or made out with anyone since we split ways so does this mean he is interested in me or is this just him repairing our friendship. I don't want to over step my boundaries but in all honestly, I love him to death no matter what! He is amazing and sadly even if we don't work out as a couple he is still someone I would consider "marriage material".

**my qualifications for "Marriage Material"
GREAT sense of humor - super outgoing!
Family oriented
Humble
Athletic - and NO not a gym freak! Just a little flag football here and there.
Driven - with goals and reaching for them.
Attractive - no necessarily to everyone else...just me!
Bed fun compatibility - yes this is probably what you think it is


I'm not saying I haven't dated because I'm stuck on RT, really I've had good excuses to say no, mostly other pre-set plans. **Side note...still never been asked out in person. I was asked out by two guys...wait 3!!! I know them all threw friends and the "asking out" was done over gmail!!

I've actually been enjoying all this single time with my girls. I feel like its helped me find myself.
BUT...I do seem to find myself comparing the guys that like me to him.

What do you gather from this...do I need a serious slap in the face!

Well be it with him or someone else I have to move on sometime....and soon would be good.

~a simple girl with big issues~