fog

What is wrong with me?!?! I keep zoning out and getting completely sidetracked from work! I don't even hear the phone ring til the 3rd or 4th ring and by then Jesse, my Co-worker has already answered it. I need a vacation... But something tells me this weekend might cure a few of these actions, WAIT, or make them worse! Crap! Something tells me I'm in for a long month or late night phone calls, random romantic text, and goofy at work but not working emails.

I'm trying so hard to take this one day at a time but the feeling of someone being so into me is overwhelming, flattering, and so missed. Not only that but he seems too good to be true...yes girls, one of those guys! He is so romantic! So humble! And So HOTT!! Whats the catch...what am I missing? Does he have a bad temper? A gambling problem? A cheater? All questions I managed to ask in a joking manner and still got answered....No, No, and No.

What do you do when you are face to face with a guy who doesn't play the typical "I like you but I'm not going to show it" games. Its throwing me off kilter...bad! He's even admitted to me that he almost got engaged once and she broke it off right before he bought the ring. This was years ago but he confessed it was probably the most devastating moment in his life. He was so vulnerable and so open. I have to say it was very refreshing.

This weekend's plans are already set. He's working extra hard to get all his work done in NY so he can head out early either Thur. night or Fri. morning. He wants to have dinner again, just the two of us, somewhere quiet and small. I'm curious to find out where but he said its a secret- he wants to keep me on my toes. Then Saturday is booked up with a Pool Party at his friend's house and a night out on the town with T!

I feel like my blog is about to take a sharp right hand turn into Sappy Fairytale Novel land.

WATCH OUT! I'm falling....hard and fast.

compatiblility...

So two young (for lack of a better word) Contractor helpers came in on Tuesday to pick up their supplies and I started chatting with them as they were waiting. I'm a friendly person as I've mentioned before so the convo was nothing more than the normal customer/employee chit chat.
Well 10min go by and the phone rings, (yes the annoying phone) and it's him.

Joe- Hey, I was just in there picking up my order
Me- Yes
Joe - I bought the yellow crew driver..
Me- Yes
Joe- Oh, ok. Well I was wondering if you wanted to go out and play pool with me one night?
Me- (SPEECHLESS) umm.... wow that's so flattering but ummm.... (Beware Lie ahead) I just got out of a serious relationship and I promised myself I wouldn't date for a while. But Thank you so much...that was very sweet of you to ask.
Joe - Oh ok well have a nice day.
Me- ok you too.

OK I absolutely had no clue which one he was but still this is where I stand and why "the lie" was used. Things I've learned from guys in the past:

-Don't date guys that are shorter than you....b/c no matter what they say at the beginning the insecurities always come out later.
-Don't ever date a guy with a lower income than yours - same insecurities come out later.
-Don't date a guy with a much lower education than you - conversations and interest tend to be way different. Now this isn't with all but I've found it with most. Plus this tends to run hand in hand with the income.
-He must be close to my equal in regards to interests, life style, and morals...and he must be confident! Not perfect just confident.

None of these things have to do with looks. If you truly understand me you will see they shape a persons personality and compatibility with you.... Long term relationship compatibility. I'm at the age where I won't date someone I know there's no long term possibility with. Looks are just the cover of the book...and I must have a great novel to know I will stay interested past the intro. Know what I mean??

Ok so if you are still following me, you can put two and two together and see that no matter which guy this was I'm not going to be interested long term because...
1. he is most likely only a high school graduate.
2. if you heard the way he spoke it was obvious he didn't get much from that high school education
3. I don't live on this side of town (I'm helping at a branch that's an hour away from my house)
4. not sure playing pool with him and his friend will make me be more interested
5. him being a "helper" makes me not even want to know his income.
6. something told me he would only want to play pool or hang with his buddies....not go out on the town and hang out with my friends.

OK right about now, you're probably thinking I'm being a total snob! but really I'm not, its completely rational. I'm a college graduate. I don't make a lot of money but I can support myself without help from a roommate or family. I like to read and learn. And I hate petty fights....like "do you have to wear your heals tonight" or "you don't have to pay for me! I just won't go".
I know dating for me has come to a halt lately but I think I've been pretty accurate on my dating choices looking back on the relationships I've had in the past.....1yr, 3yrs, 2yrs, 1yr. So I must be doing something right. Now although they didn't work out they still had great potential! Sometimes there's one big obstacle you just can't over come.

So what is your opinion...honestly. I'm curious to hear if anyone things I'm being WAY too picky!


Thanks to everyone for your well wishes!! I'm feeling much better today but that probably has a lot to do with me sleeping a good 10hrs and coming into work late.

boys boys boys....

ok so one of the "gmail" boys (reference previous post) sent me a "chat" while I was idle yesterday...


Cv: i know you are busy and i have a doctors appointment coming up today but later .. give me a call .. we need to talk

I'm sorry but doesn't this SCREAM "break up" of something to you....as if we were dating at all??? ok So I get back online b/c I'm super curious....

me: so I'm not busy now
whats up?
Cv: ok ... so I was thinking
you didn't have your spring break yet, right?
me: no but I don't really get one
Cv: but you could take a day off like ... let's say .. Friday or so? .. anyway .. i know you are busy with Em(my sis) and your niece and Easter is coming up .. but sometime after that ... it would be nice if we could do something .. no strings, no pressure .. just plain fun
me: ok, I could probably do that
me: I'm not sure what you are thinking
so how about you throw your ideas my way
and I say "Cool" or "Yuck"
Cv: ok .. so i saw you expressed some interest in NYC and San Fran .. those are one option ... the other is Cancun ... throwing you out of the plane .. I can do that any day :).
me: haha, ok, just us or is this a group venture?
Cv: well unfortunately .. most of my friends are on spring break as we speak
me: oh soo...what would the plan be when we get there
either NYC, San Fran, or Cancun
Cv: NYC .. there is a ton of things to do ... city never sleeps .. sightseeing, eat, drink .. etc .. same with san fran .. Cancun .. i am thinking relax on the beach and .. i have never been snorkeling .. i wanna try that


OK So this is kind of awkward for me....I've gone out with this guy a few times but we've never even kissed. He just seems more like a good friend to me now. Based on the way he asked and the comments he made...what do you think? Of course I want to go, It would be super fun! BUT...would it be bad too? Would he think more of "us" than I want. Because as of right now he KNOWS I do not want a relationship. Actually I'm kinda at a lose as to why he wants me to go....He is cool and we have fun hanging out but why would he want to pay for just a (girl) friend to go to Cancun with him? Well actually he has tones of flyer miles due to work travel and he makes pretty good money...so I guess the money isn't an issue.
** background FYI: He is 30, polish, and hasn't seriously dated in 5 yrs b/c of his work travel. He's been back and forth between NYC, San Fran, Malon Italy, and Houston.

So with all that said....opinions are needed!!


oh and RT is coming in town tonight but I don't think we are meeting up til tomorrow night.
:: small smile ::


OH BOYS BOYS BOYS...what have I gotten myself into!

lack of dating...

I've had a major gap in my dating life lately....main cause.....simply me. I'm just not interested. Right after the big break with the bf(post1) about a year and half ago I started getting real close to a guy I grew up with, RT. He was and still is my best friend but we got a little hot and heavy for a few months. To my disappointment, it starting going cold due to work and scheduling. He lived in our hometown and I was living in the big city...hour and a half drive. Well soon thereafter he got a job in the big city close to me so naturally he started staying with me a few nights out of the week. Our relationship was starting to look like a relationship... up til he revealed he was accepted back into college and he was leaving in a month to finish(3hours away). Now, we hadn't made it to the "OMG I can't live without you" stage so I was happy for him. Us being such close friends, I could be nothing less than supportive, it was definitely the right move for him. Well we talked everyday for about 2-3 weeks til the inevitable fight. It was his birthday and I had been planning on going down to see him for weeks. Well I got a brief phone call telling me I don't have to come b/c he has homework and a test to study for so he can't entertain me all weekend BUT I can still come IF I WANT. "Well do you want to see me?", I asked.... YOU READY FOR THIS....being part of the guy clan he simply replied, "I don't care." At this point my eyes about popped out of my head and I quickly ended the conversation. We didn't speak for, wow, almost a month. He's been gone for 3-4 months now and somewhere in there our daily texts turned into calls and it hasn't stopped. RT has even cracked jokes about meeting our daily call time quota. What strikes me is that he is the one calling me everyday, be it at work or on my drive home. I still haven't seen him since he left but he recently invited me to come down and go to the river with him when it warms up....oh and he might be in town this weekend, and if so, he wants to meet up.
Now, he knows I haven't dated or made out with anyone since we split ways so does this mean he is interested in me or is this just him repairing our friendship. I don't want to over step my boundaries but in all honestly, I love him to death no matter what! He is amazing and sadly even if we don't work out as a couple he is still someone I would consider "marriage material".

**my qualifications for "Marriage Material"
GREAT sense of humor - super outgoing!
Family oriented
Humble
Athletic - and NO not a gym freak! Just a little flag football here and there.
Driven - with goals and reaching for them.
Attractive - no necessarily to everyone else...just me!
Bed fun compatibility - yes this is probably what you think it is


I'm not saying I haven't dated because I'm stuck on RT, really I've had good excuses to say no, mostly other pre-set plans. **Side note...still never been asked out in person. I was asked out by two guys...wait 3!!! I know them all threw friends and the "asking out" was done over gmail!!

I've actually been enjoying all this single time with my girls. I feel like its helped me find myself.
BUT...I do seem to find myself comparing the guys that like me to him.

What do you gather from this...do I need a serious slap in the face!

Well be it with him or someone else I have to move on sometime....and soon would be good.

~a simple girl with big issues~

Sighting of my FAVORITE married Couple

Reference my very first post to get a full understanding...

SOOOOOOOOO with the luck I've been having lately it was only fitting that my weekend end with a sighting of my TWO FAVORITE PEOPLE!

I was out and about Sunday enjoying a stroll through the mall (actually I was wasting time before I met up with a friend). Well, I was in the middle of a text when I looked up at 3 people walking directly in front of me to enter the store I was passing. I first locked eyes with the X BEST FRIEND, she gave me a blank OMG look then a half smile with a "Hi". I of course smiled real big (b/c I knew I was looking HOTT with my sunburn and new hair!! HAHA!) and said "HEY" back, all before I realized THE X BF was right in front of her, almost in the store. Of course we locked eyes (a little longer than I was comfortable with) plus he had this weird big smile on his face. Not a second later I thought...this is enough, if not too much talking for me, so I continued walking and went right back to my text message. WHEEW ...never thought I would have survived the first sighting but I DID IT! and with class and a sense of ease if you ask me.

btw-the 3rd person was her 9yr old son....I thought more about him when we parted ways than either of them. I used to babysit him and all of us, including my X used to go to the park and hang out. Something tells me that poor boy is going to be all screwed up when he gets older....but I can only pray he isn't. Made me happy when he smiled at me....maybe they hadn't skewed his image of me.....YET!


OH!OH! and I have to mention...someone looked to have put on some weight haha! Her pants were looking a little tight! hehe ok I'll be nice....maybe she is prego!!haha!

A Fresh Start

Ok this being my first post...I'm going to go all out.

2007 in a nutshell was a BAD year for me. Where to begin?? How about in Jan? Ok so I started 2007 going to my best friends wedding with my boy friend of two years. The man I knew I was going to marry and we had both made that very clear to his family and mine. Maybe looking at rings clued everyone in. Well now is about the time I should tell you about one of my good girl friends who happened to live across the way from me in my apartment complex, therefore we saw each other often. Plus she went to the same church me and the BF went to.
Well about 2 weeks into January the bf and I started arguing over weird petty stuff and decided maybe we should take some time and space to make sure we still want to get married. So I laid low but we still talked everyday...and even saw each other ofter.

Well about 2-3 weeks later I walk to my car to go to the store and to my horror I see who else but my bf (or whatever he is at this point) sneaking up the BACK side of my friends apartment building. Well since she lives on the font side and I knew at this point he was going to see her, I waited down stairs for him to walk back forward on the 3 floor so I could see him knock on her down....and about a minute later there he was! I was sitting in my car at this point and I didn't even have to honk...he saw me, he knew I was pissed and what did he do. He waved a very nervous low wave. Now I drive a pretty fast sports car so lets just say I speed off with a lead foot!!!

I was so sad and so upset and so devastated! My bf and my good friend...I would have never guessed. Maybe it was the fact that she has a 7 year old son or the fact that he would talk negatively about her and how she lives her life and now he is DATING HER! Why are men such wimps....no balls to tell me the truth or to even separated himself enough to make me believe we were not still getting married! I had no clue.

So lets move ahead about 5 months, I decided to move far away btw! Broke my lease to do so.
ok so I get a phone call from the x's old best friend who YES dated my old good friend. We used to go on double dates. Well his news was all but calming. THEY WERE ENGAGED! And there were pic on their myspace of the ring...well to my shock that ring sure looked a lot like the one I picked out!!!!! So devastated AGAIN!

ok skip forward to Dec. 1. I get another phone call from the same guy. They are getting married this weekend!!!! WHAT?!?!? It hasn't even been a YEAR since we split.
DEVI STATED AGAIN!!!!

Then last but not least I go to their myspace at the end of the month to see if they posted wedding pics just too see what she looked like...b/c I was mad and curious and wanted to find something to pick fun of! Well I was shocked to see they had posted pics from their Honeymoon and WHERE THEY WENT!! To Banff, Alberta Canada!! Where we had gone on a trip together with his parents just a year earlier!!! WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO TAKE YOUR NEW WIFE THERE?!?!?!
Whats weird is she knew all of this b/c she was my friend! She also new what the ring I picked out looked like. Why did she not have a problem with any of this?!?!? I know why b/c she just wanted to get married and he is controlling and wanted everything the same as how we had planned it!!! PSYCHO!!

Ok vent over...don't judge me too much this was a very traumatic experience....worse than any drama movie I have ever seen...and this is just the short version.